Water and Fire~Chapter 115: The Redemption of Loneliness

 

Chapter 115: The Redemption of Loneliness

After reading Chu Qianmiao's weekly report that afternoon, Ren Yan immediately started booking a flight.

Unfortunately, all flights from his business trip back to Beijing that day were canceled.

This didn't deter him from returning to Beijing. He knew he had to go back today, no matter what. He knew she would need him today.

He searched for flights to Tianjin and, thankfully, there was still one available. He immediately bought a ticket and took a taxi to the airport.

The moment the plane took off, he breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, he could make it back.

Outside the window, the sky turned from white to black, the clouds blurring against the night. Evening had officially turned to night. His thoughts drifted through the plane window, through the blurry clouds, through the thick night, to his little girl.

He knew her too well. Because he knew her well, he felt for her. She had a heart more delicate and sensitive than anyone else. She was always kind and helpful, not because she was stupid, but because she preferred to believe in the brighter side of the world.

But the unbearable pressure constantly eroded her cognition. Since starting the project, her value system had been constantly being torn down and rebuilt. Each time she tore it down and rebuilt, she was reborn, becoming stronger and more rational. But each time, it also destroyed her tender heart.

He wanted to rush back and protect her tender heart.

When they were working on the project, he had repeatedly urged her to be more rational and indifferent, not to easily trust human nature, as it often deceived her. He also wanted to help her sift out the strong humanistic tendencies in her, telling her that they would backfire and drag her down.

But now, he wanted to rush back, to tell her not to despair, not to be disappointed in human nature.

On the plane, he asked himself why he had undergone such a drastic change.

He soon found the answer.

Because he realized that his words had such a profound impact on her.

He began to fear that, because of his words, he would one day sway her to no longer believe in human nature.

If that day came, and she no longer believed in human nature, how could he expect her to trust him?

He felt terrified, terrified by his own seemingly rational arguments. It was as if he had, for the second time, shot himself in the foot.

After landing in Tianjin, Ren Yan immediately rushed to the high-speed rail station, preparing to take the intercity high-speed train back to Beijing.

It was the weekend, and the crowds were thronging everywhere. He squeezed in and out of the crowd, just to get a subway ticket and a high-speed rail ticket.

He thought he hadn't felt this uneasy in years. His shirt, stiff from being squeezed, was wrinkled, and his shiny black leather shoes bore the marks of someone else's footprints.

But thinking about the person behind this uneasy feeling, who was he fighting so hard for, for whom was he adding wrinkles to his shirt and footprints to his shoes, he felt that it was a joyful endeavor.

He hurried back to Beijing and bought a ticket for the next train, which had no seats and required him to stand. There were seats on the following trains, but he couldn't wait.

It had been years since he'd experienced standing. Ever since he became CEO, he'd been picked up and dropped off by car wherever he went, and the cars were personally arranged by the company's top executive.

Thinking about the person he'd be willing to stand on, she was probably the only one.

Ren Yan stood all the way from Tianjin to Beijing South.

After getting off the train, he immediately called Chu Qianmiao. At first, no one answered. After a few tries, a robotic female voice, in English and Chinese, informed him that the number he was calling was turned off.

Many theories raced through Ren Yan's mind, but he eventually dismissed them, deciding he was being overly alarmist. He took a taxi to Chu Qianmiao's apartment and stood at the door, punching in the room number.

He pressed for a long time, but no one opened the door.

He suppressed the speculations that threatened to rear their heads, thought for a moment, and called Gu Miaoyu, Chu Qianmiao's childhood friend.

He wanted to ask Gu Miaoyu if she and Chu Qianmiao were home, if Chu Qianmiao had gone to bed.

He needed a definitive answer, otherwise Chu Qianmiao's ignoring her calls and turning them off would keep him worried all night.

But Gu Miaoyu's answer was, "Qianmiao and I aren't home." She also said, "Mr. Ren, you're Qianmiao's supervisor. You should know more about her whereabouts, right? Isn't Qianmiao on a business trip? She didn't tell me she was returning to Beijing today, so she must still be there."

Ren Yan said, "Maybe she's back and didn't tell you. Is that possible?" Gu Miaoyu immediately said, "That's impossible. I just went home half an hour ago to get some documents. No one's home." After a pause, Gu Miaoyu asked, "Mr. Ren, are you having a fight with our Qian Miao? Qian Miao is avoiding you, and you're looking for her everywhere?"

Ren Yan said politely, "You're overthinking it."

After hanging up, Ren Yan thought quickly.

She's not home. She didn't go home.

So where could she have gone?

The streets were bustling with traffic; weekend nights in Beijing are never peaceful. A passing taxi honked at him standing on the street.

The honking suddenly jolted his heart.

He waved, hailed the car, got in, and told him the address of his apartment.

The whole way there, he seemed to be a mixture of anticipation and trepidation. He didn't know if she had gone to the apartment. He hoped she had.

As soon as the car stopped, he paid and got out, not even asking for change.

He hurried into the elevator, went upstairs, and opened the door.

The room was pitch black, a darkness devoid of human presence. He felt a little disappointed.

But turning around, he saw her shoes. Those delicate women's high heels, side by side next to the doormat, seemed to be smiling at him.

He later realized that he was actually smiling at her shoes.

He quickly put down his briefcase and kicked off his shoes. Without even bothering to put on his slippers, he silently stomped onto the floor and entered the bedroom.

He paused at the bedroom door. He saw his little girl lying on the bed. She was wearing his white shirt. It reached her thighs, and her beautiful legs were curled up. In fact, she was curled up completely, lying on her side on the bed. The moonlight streamed in, making her look incredibly vulnerable and insecure.

At that moment, his heart melted, turning into a pool of water, filling him with tenderness.

He changed his coat, gently climbed onto the bed, and gently embraced her from behind.

She nestled in his arms, fitting perfectly.

The moment he wrapped her in his embrace, he sighed a silent sigh of contentment.

It was at that moment that he finally understood: he wasn't here to comfort her, but she was clearly redeeming his emptiness.

After a while, the person in his arms stirred.

She woke up.

She whispered, "Why are you back?" Her voice was soft, a little hoarse, and filled with surprise and joy.

His heart softened. He kissed the back of her neck and whispered, "I came back to keep my sentimental little girl company."

She turned over, facing him, and snuggled into his arms.

He held her tightly. The moon outside the window seemed shy of their embrace, hiding behind a cloud.

He felt like he was holding the whole world.

After hugging for a while, Chu Qianmiao's voice pierced Ren Yan's chest, a muffled "Senior, I feel uncomfortable."

She had witnessed all sorts of betrayal in marriages and lovers before, and now she saw betrayal and calculation in friendships.

"Today, I suddenly feel that the world is so ugly," she said gloomily.

Ren Yan held her with one arm, raising the other to gently stroke her head.

He gently soothed her, "Don't be sad. There are many beautiful things in this world."

For example, you.

He thought as he stroked her. He had always held the same view she had just held: he felt that the world was ugly, with too much suffering and too little joy, too many constraints and too little freedom, too much debt and too little peace.

So, in such a world, he preferred to become an urban ascetic, ruthless and desireless, self-denying and self-denying.

With nothing to want, there was nothing to lose. This was how he protected himself.

But then he met her. He met her again.

His heart was torn and struggled, and in those struggles, he told himself that if you desire nothing, you won't lose anything. But it turned out that his lifelong pursuit of nothingness was all fake, forced upon him, a self-deception. All his struggles and struggles ultimately couldn't overcome his desire for her.

So take it, he thought. I'll just risk everything to protect her. The world is ugly, but the world with her is a beautiful place in his heart.

He never knew that his heart could hold such beauty. Now, he was willing to do everything to create a beautiful world for her. He was willing to plan everything for her, to pave every path for her. She didn't need to know all this; she just needed to complete her growth and become the person she wanted to be. He would protect her, silently, without letting her know. He wanted to do all the hard work himself.

He caressed her, one touch at a time. He whispered in her ear, "Do you like wearing my shirt?"

She nestled in his arms and nodded softly.

"Why?" he asked hoarsely.

She muffled her words, "Because it's expensive and comfortable."

He smiled, his chest shaking slightly.

She looked up at him.

"Senior," she called.

"Yeah," he replied.

She smiled, beautiful as a night elf. "Thank you for coming back."

His heart instantly softened. He thought of the long journey, the connecting flight to Tianjin and back to Beijing in the sticky summer heat, the shirt wrinkled and shoes stained by the crowds, the standing on the high-speed train all the way. It was all worth it. Seeing her smile was all worth it.

He bent down and kissed her forehead. "Why are you thanking me?" He kissed her eyes. "Next time you feel down, just call me back, order me to come back, okay?" He kissed the tip of her nose. "Don't carry all these negative emotions alone anymore, okay?" His kiss landed on her lips. "You don't have to be so sensible as my girlfriend. You have to have confidence. I'll satisfy any request you make."

He looked down at her.

She looked back at him. Her eyes shone brightly, reflecting the moonlight and the stars, and so did he.

"Senior," she called him. "But I still want to thank you." She rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. "It's so nice of you to come back today."

He hugged her. It was okay, he thought. Slowly, she would stop being so polite. Slowly, she would trust him completely and rely on him.