Blazing Sun~Chapter 29

 

Chapter 29

I left the new factory through a small door next to the conference room, walking along the alley between the old and new factory areas.

Before coming, I had a vague premonition, but when it actually happened, it still felt so absurd and bizarre.

He seemed to be saying that he had always felt the same way I had felt for him?

He…likes me?

How ridiculous.

What kind of liking is so hard to express?

What kind of liking makes the other person feel constantly disliked?

The opportunity to find answers seemed right in front of me, but I found myself completely uninterested, wanting only to get away from all of this.

The huge setting sun hung in the gap between the old and new factory buildings in the distance, about to disappear below the horizon. For a moment, only the sound of my footsteps echoed in the empty alley. Just a dozen meters ahead and I would be out of the alley. I quickened my pace, but just then, I heard a rapid, heavy running sound behind me.

My heart skipped a beat.

The footsteps grew louder and closer, until they were right behind me. Before I could react, my wrist was grabbed abruptly from behind.

"Nie Xiguang."

I was spun around by the force of the footsteps, and Zhuang Xu's pale, thin face appeared before me incredulously once more. His hair was disheveled, and his chest heaved violently.

"Nie Xiguang," he called my name again.

"I'm sorry. I know I've done a lot of wrong things. I misunderstood you a lot before, and I always wanted to make amends. I thought I could start over in Shanghai. I thought it was never too late. But you disappeared right after graduation. I couldn't find you anywhere. I thought you went abroad. I even changed my Nanjing phone number last month. But you said you'd come back when we graduated." He spoke incoherently, panting from running, his eyes filled with a desperate, resolute determination to break free.

I was momentarily panicked, not caring what he meant, only wanting to forcefully break free of his hand. "Let go of me."

He ignored me, even tightening his grip on my wrist. "I know I shouldn't have come. You're already with someone else. When I was sick, I told myself countless times not to humiliate myself. I'm most afraid of losing in this life. But, Nie Xiguang, I've already lost everything. How can I lose any more?"

"Do you think I'm crazy? Of course I'm crazy, otherwise why wouldn't I have been able to hold back? I will hold back. Nie Xiguang, I've been holding back. But why did you tell me that you weren't together on New Year's Day? How am I supposed to accept all this?! Why am I always missing out? This world is unfair to me, you're unfair to me."

"What does it matter to me whether you can accept it or not?!" I finally couldn't hold back anymore, using all my strength to shake off his hand, taking a step back, leaning against the wall, watching him warily.

Our eyes met. He looked down at his hand, a flicker of pain seeming to cross his eyes.

I calmed myself down a bit. "Why did I 'lie' to you on New Year's Day? Can't you even think about it? A top investment banker like you can't be that forgetful."

"I don't know why you think you like me. Is that what you're trying to say? If so, it's something that would take me a long time to understand. But none of that matters. I already have a boyfriend, and I'm absolutely certain I want to spend the rest of my life with him. There won't be any wavering. So please keep your distance as university classmates and don't say these inappropriate things to me."

"Inappropriate?" He slowly raised his eyes, smiling bitterly. "You're telling me it's inappropriate now? Wasn't it you who was inappropriate in the first place? Knowing it wasn't right, you still stubbornly insisted on squeezing into my life, and then disappeared after I surrendered. If you could be inappropriate before, why can't I?!"

He actually said that! A surge of anger suddenly welled up inside me: "Stop lying to yourself, Zhuang Xu."

"Is it really that hard to find someone? If you can't get through on the phone, isn't there any other way? I've sensed your 'liking' before, but you, you denied it yourself. What right do you have to come here and say this to me now? Don't you find it ridiculous?"

"You say you misunderstood me. What right do you have to misunderstand me, because of what others said? But we spent a whole summer and a semester together. I did so much, said so much—didn't you see or hear it? With your intelligence and emotional intelligence, can't you understand? You just don't want to understand; you're just taking advantage of your situation."

"Big Grape, I didn't know you were talking about me, but even if I understood back then, why should I come back on my own?!"

I stared at him fiercely, a wave of sadness and resentment washing over me, even my eyes welling up with tears. But I knew it wasn't for him, but for the younger version of myself—full of genuine feelings, passionate and honest, yet subjected to endless misunderstandings.

“So, there’s never any such thing as a missed opportunity. Even without the misunderstanding on New Year’s Day, I would still choose him. No, not a choice.”

Although he once told me he let me choose.

Through tears glistening in my eyes, I smiled. “When he appeared in my life, when he honestly said he liked me, there was no choice. I would definitely be with him.”

Zhuang Xu seemed stunned, staring at me blankly. I blinked away the tears that were about to overflow, said nothing more, and resolutely turned and left.

I walked quickly out of the alleyway into the setting sun. Turning right would lead to the main road back to the office area, but I stopped as soon as I stepped out of the alleyway and around the corner.

Not far ahead, at the gate of the new factory, a familiar car was parked.

It was Lin Yusen’s car.

I ran towards it.

When did he arrive? And how long had he been waiting here?

On the way to the factory, I sent him a text message.

"People from Bank A came for a post-loan inspection today, and one of them happens to be my college classmate, Zhuang Xu. The section chief asked me to go with him to take them to the factory area. I wanted to inform you."

He replied quickly. "Okay, I understand."

He seemed very confident and trusting of me.

I didn't expect him to drive all the way here to find me.

I ran to the car in one breath, and sure enough, Lin Yusen was sitting inside.

He was leaning back in his seat, seemingly lost in thought, not even noticing my arrival for a moment. I took a deep breath and knocked on the window, startling him into turning to look at me.

He rolled down the window, and I looked at him, suddenly at a loss for words. Lin Yusen seemed to be too. We were silent for a few seconds before I spoke first, "Lin Yusen, I..."

"I'm sorry, it's not that I don't trust you," he interrupted with a slight smile, "I believe you, but I'm restless."

My heart felt like it had been struck by a powerful force, a pang of heartache filling my chest. I desperately wanted to say something, but I knew that anything I said at this moment would be futile.

"Could you come a little closer?" I pleaded.

He leaned in a little closer, looking puzzled.

It was still a bit far, but I couldn't wait. I bent down, peered through the car window, and lightly kissed his lips. A fleeting, almost imperceptible touch, and I quickly pulled back, nearly hitting my head.

I feigned composure and asked, "Will you still be restless?"

Will you still be restless?

Lin Yusen looked at me, and slowly, the faint smile on his lips finally spread to his eyes. "Not when I'm sitting down."

What?

Before I could react, Lin Yusen had already gotten out of the car. His tall, slender figure stood before me, and he stretched out his long arm, pulling me into his embrace.

I instantly understood. I thought he would bend down to kiss me, then tell me that standing like this wouldn't make me feel uneasy.

But instead, he simply pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly, letting out a long sigh, as if he had instantly relaxed.

"Now I feel completely at ease," he said.

My heart ached unbearably, and I couldn't help but say, "I'm sorry."

"Why are you saying sorry? You've already done enough."

"Mmm," I responded softly, reaching out to hug him back.

Enveloped in his familiar warmth, my emotions gradually calmed down.

The person holding me seemed motionless for a moment. I looked up; his gaze was fixed on what was behind me. Noticing my movement, he lowered his head and asked gently, "Is it all settled?"

I followed his gaze and glanced back, hesitated for a moment, and said, "I want to say a few more words to him."

Zhuang Xu had also emerged from the alleyway at some point. He seemed to have calmed down, standing at the exit, his gaze unwavering as I approached, his back even more proudly straight. The setting sun shone on him, casting a long, solitary shadow beside him.

I stopped a few steps away from him, looking at him and saying, "Zhuang Xu, you don't like me. Liking someone isn't like this; it's just your illusion."

I didn't know how to express myself, so I described it in the simplest terms: "Liking someone means wanting to give them everything beautiful; it's being careful, afraid of saying or doing something wrong that will make them dislike you or misunderstand your feelings. It's doing everything you can to make them happy, irrationally romanticizing everything they do, and never thinking the worst of them."

Zhuang Xu said, "Is that how you treat him?"

I was silent for a long time, finally saying softly, "No, it was about you."

His figure seemed to freeze for a moment.

"He never made me be careful," I said to him. "Goodbye."

I turned and ran towards Lin Yusen.